I was going to say toes…..
Yoga, bliss……for the most part! I used to fold in half like a book closing, flexed feet and everything! However having not hit the mat properly all the way through my pregnancy with Bowie I now find myself barely able to sit in easy pose (sitting cross legged) let alone fly gracefully into bird of paradise (don’t ask)
I found myself in floods of tears with frustration just from doing some laying down twists to warm my spine up a little, I was completely overwhelmed and angry with myself…… (tit) then I realised how silly I was being, I was furious with myself for not being able to do something that used to be so easy and felt let down by my body when it didn’t just automatically do what I expected of it.
I am such an arse!
Of course it won’t just do that I expect it to, flexibility and strength are like things you have to work at! Everyday! or they will slump down on that sofa with you and just fizzle away…… I knew that but for some reason apparently thought my body would defy the laws of nature and just be exactly as flexible as I was 2 years ago.
It wasn’t, Shock Horror!
Some very good lessons learned here –
1. Be gentle with yourself – when something doesn’t go to plan or you find yourself stuck (as I was literally, on the floor, fml) try, I stress the word TRY and breathe, take a second to check in with your instinct reaction and see if it is coming from a place of love and kindness, is it gentle? or are you about to go full road rage on yourself?
2. Be realistic with your expectations – or remove them all together! I have now adopted what feels like such a warm and fuzzy approach it almost feels silly (but then I embrace it with a smile and a long loud Om) to just arrive on my mat and see what happens! Even if I set out to do say, 30 minutes of Ashtanga primary series and what actually happens 2 minutes in turns out to be more restorative with a focus on pranayama, then ok! Bring it on! That is obviously what my body/mind/heart and soul need and I am not going to deny them!
3. Make yourself a commitment – I let myself stop practicing, I let myself seize up and my muscle become weaker, no one else, me! Its so easy to get swept up in household jobs, mothering, wifeing (thats my new word for the year) In the interest of my heart, soul and body I have reignited my commitment to MAKE time for my yoga, its no longer a case of “I’ll just get the washing up done first and then do the dishes and perhaps fold some laundry whilst Bowie naps, then and only then will I feel I can justify losing the time to something selfish” now its “those jobs will still be there in 30/60 minutes time and this is keeping me whole and happy, after all, a calm centred Mama is better for everyone around me, trust me! (I can be a bit Hulk like when I am away from my mat for too long!)
Yoga heals, Holds space for whatever is needed and really is the gift that keeps on giving.
I’m off to lay on my mat for a bit (savasana – my favourite nap of the day)
Love and Hugs, Me xoxox